you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
