I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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