found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
