We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I party with great urgency now.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
