I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
