On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
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