she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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