New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
