Your tits are I can't wait for
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
