Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
