there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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