he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I wish my penis had an off switch
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
