I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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