Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
