Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
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