u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize