I want to have your abortion
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
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