No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
