I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
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