They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
