oh god the rape fog is back!
I hope mine doesn't look like that
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
