I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
