how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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