They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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