Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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