forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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