fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
