I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
