I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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