Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
