i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
