She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
