There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
