Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize