I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
