Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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