my mouth tastes like poor choices
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
