so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm gonna fight the coyote
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
