we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
