fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She's the barista slut.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
