You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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