I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
So here I am, sexting at work.
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