I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
