Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
don't judge my taste in strippers
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
