the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
