I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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