I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
