Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
