508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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