That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
