How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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