Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
