therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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