Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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