We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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