I should be sponsored by Trojan
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
