did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize