I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
