what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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