we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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