Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
