i permit you to call me
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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