so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
