note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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